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How to be with someone in difficulty
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Most of us have experienced not knowing what to say or do in an awkward situation, to have the best of intentions and not know how to help. People have been down this path before and have created resources to help us with how best to interact with someone who is facing illness or death.
Global Resources
| Title | Type | Description | Tags |
|---|---|---|---|
| Dying Person's Top Five Regrets |  |
Good article in the Guardian - a UK newspaper - on just what the title says. Click here to visit the resource page. | |
| Getting the Last Laugh on Grim Reaper - article by Leonard Pitts | |
This article explores how humor can assist us in being human during the process of a loved one's death. Click here to visit the resource page. | |
| Help Me Live - 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know - by Lori Hope | |
We want nothing more than to offer comfort and support, and foster hope. But we don’t always know how—and may feel uncomfortable asking. Following her own treatment for cancer, Lori Hope created a survey for cancer survivors addressing issues they wanted their families, friends, and caregivers to understand. The results of the newly expanded survey are presented with honesty, insight, and humor, and complemented by scores of compelling personal stories from survivors of diverse ages and backgrounds. If you are a caregiver, Help Me Live will help you communicate more effectively and respond more compassionately. And if you are a survivor, it will help you feel validated, empowered, and, ultimately, hopeful. | |
| Passages in Caregiving by Gail Sheehy | |
Caring for a loved one with a chronic illness -- a parent, partner, sibling or child -- is a role no one aspires to but many of us will take on. In her superb new book, "Passages in Caregiving," Gail Sheehy writes that someone is serving as an unpaid family caregiver in almost one-third of American households. It's a job that lasts an average of five years. "Nobody briefs us on all the services we are expected to perform when we take on this role," she writes. That statement is no longer true, for "Passages in Caregiving" -- written from Sheehy's personal experience supplemented by a generous dose of reporting -- does it well. Her book outlines the road that awaits caregivers and gives practical advice to help them on the journey. It's an ambitious and readable blend of memoir, reportage, consumer advice, pep talk and love story. Click here to visit the resource page. | |
| Share the Care organization | |
This is the organization that promotes and distributes the book "Share the Care". It is a resource that is geared specifically for setting up a care giver group. Click here to visit the resource page. | |
| The Needs of the Dying: A Guide for Bringing Hope, Comfort, and Love to Life's Final Chapter- by David Kessler | |
In gentle, compassionate language, this book helps us through the last chapter of our lives. The author has identified key areas of concern: the need to be treated as a living human being, the need for hope, the need to express emotions, the need to participate in care, the need for honesty, the need for spirituality, and the need to be free of physical pain. Examining the physical and emotional experiences of life-challenging illnesses, Kessler provides a vocabulary for family members and for the dying that allows them to communicate with doctors, with hospital staff, and with one another, and—at a time when the right words are exceedingly difficult to find—he helps readers find a way to say good-bye. Using comforting and touching stories, he provides information to help us meet the needs of a loved one at this important time in our lives. | |
| The Unexpected Caregiver by Kari Berit | |
As their parents grow older, growing numbers of Baby Boomers find themselves thrust into a caregiver role, often with little warning or preparation. In a sense, they must function somewhat like activity directors in senior-care facilities, helping mom and dad come to terms with both day-to-day concerns and longer-term issues. Kari Berit brings extensive professional and personal insights to this subject. This book is a "splendid treasure chest of practical ideas that will help ease the stress of caring across generations". | |
| The Year of Magical Thinking - by Joan Didion | |
The book recounts Didion's experiences of grief after her husband's death of a cardiac arrest in their New York apartment. Days before his death, their daughter was hospitalized in New York with pneumonia which developed into septic shock; she was still unconscious when her father died. The narrative structure of the book follows Didion's re-living and re-analysis of her husband's death throughout the year following it, in addition to caring for her daughter. With each replay of the event, the focus on certain emotional and physical aspects of the experience shifts. Didion also incorporates medical and psychological research on grief and illness into the book. | |
| Tuesdays With Morrie - Starring Jack Lemmon and Hank Azaria | |
Mitch became caught up with his career as a sport commentator and journalist. He ignored his girlfriend and did not make time to do things in life that are of the most value to a human being. Morrie was one of Mitch's professors in college and a famous scholar. Mitch rediscovered Morrie in the last months of the older man's life. Knowing he was dying, Morrie visited with Mitch in his study every Tuesday, just as they used to back in college. Their rekindled relationship turned into one final “class”: lessons in how to live. | |
| What to say to someone who is sick | |
Good NY Times article how to be and communicate with someone who is sick or dying Click here to visit the resource page. |