Books and Audio

There are a large number of books and audio recordings on the subject of death, dying, and caring for a loved one. This page lists a partial and growing number of books and audio recordings recommended by members of the School.

In addition, Colorado has a library which contains several books and audio recordings available for lending locally.

Global Resources

Title	Type	Description	Tags
A Wonderful Life by Cyrus Copeland		The Philadelphia Inquirer: "Copeland has compiled 64 memorials to larger-than-life individuals, written by eulogizers who are, in most cases, equally unforgettable. Sad, intimate and even funny, these tributes...are compelling, whether you're a fan of history or just supermarket tabloids." The Boston Globe: "You might not think of eulogies as the same thing as love stories, but here...they most certainly are. This is an extraordinary collection of 64 goodbyes to the famous from the (mostly) famous".
Alison's Gift by Pat Hogan		"Alison's Gift is the true story of Alison Sanders' life and death-a story that has touched all of America. This is Alison's story and how her life found its way into millions of homes. Alison's Gift is the triumph of love over life-ending experience. Along with Alison, meet real-life heroes who live through their greatest fears in a journey of loss, grief, and the rekindling of hope. This story chronicles Alison's life and death, her family's experience and her many legacies. Alison, a vibrant child, had a mission in life to help others. In unique ways, both seen and unseen, her purpose lives on. Her fearlessness, compassion, and leadership qualities transformed her community in life and have reverberated throughout the country in her death. Alison's life was cut short by an air bag in a low-speed automobile collision. Meet Alison's father: although emotionally scarred by his loss, he starts a one-man crusade, forcing the auto industry to adopt safer air bag systems for our children.
Blue Nights - by Joan Didion		From one of our most powerful writers, a work of stunning frankness about losing a daughter. Richly textured with memories from her own childhood and married life with her husband, John Gregory Dunne, and daughter, Quintana Roo, this new book by Joan Didion is an intensely personal and moving account of her thoughts, fears, and doubts regarding having children, illness and growing old. As she reflects on her daughter’s life and on her role as a parent, Didion grapples with the candid questions that all parents face, and contemplates her age, something she finds hard to acknowledge, much less accept. Blue Nights—the long, light evening hours that signal the summer solstice, “the opposite of the dying of the brightness, but also its warning”—like The Year of Magical Thinking before it, is an iconic book of incisive and electric honesty, haunting and profound. Click here to visit the resource page.
Come Into the Water - a Near Death Experience		Book describing a near death experience by drowning in a flood in South Dakota back in the 70s. The link below provides a review and access to the book. Click here to visit the resource page.
Deathing by Anya Foos-Graber		"Deathing" richly illustrates the soul's transition, what follows death, how to prepare, and what to expect. The reader learns how traditional rituals were designed to help the soul in transition and how one can help a loved one at that milestone. I consider both books essential background for anyone who works with the terminally ill. Long herself an adept and teacher of out of body movement, Anya Foos-Graber brings the creativity of a novelist and deep, affirming, personal spiritual insight to this most important of topics. (from a review by Tobey Llop)
Dying Beautifully by Dave Karpowicz		Starting with the diagnosis and ending after the cemetery service, "Dying Beautifully" acts as a guide, providing tools to help transform the dying process from sorrow to celebration. In a "workbook" format to facilitate working the book.
Erasing Death - NPR Interview with Sam Parnia, MD		What happens when we die? Wouldn't we all like to know. We can't bring people back from the dead to tell us — but in some cases, we almost can. Resuscitation medicine is now sometimes capable of reviving people after their heart has stopped beating and their brain has flat-lined; Dr. Sam Parnia, a critical care doctor and director of resuscitation research at the Stony Brook University School of Medicine, studies what these people experience in that period after their heart stops and before they're resuscitated. This includes visions such as bright lights and out-of-body experiences. Click here to visit the resource page.
Final Gifts by M Callanan & P Kelley		For more than a decade the authors, hospice nurses, have tended the terminally ill. Now, in this moving and compassionate book, they share their intimate experiences with patients at the edge of life. Through these stories, you'll come to appreciate the near-miraculous ways in which the dying communicate their needs, reveal their feelings, and even choreograph their own final moments; you'll gain new insight into the leave-taking process; and in the end you'll discover the gifts of wisdom, faith, and love that the dying leave for us to share.
Graceful Exits by Sushila Blackman		Death is a subject obscured by fear and denial. When we do think of dying, we are more often concerned with how to avoid the pain and suffering that may accompany our death than we are with really confronting the meaning of death and how to approach it. The author places death—and life—in a truer perspective, by telling us of others who have left this world with dignity. Graceful Exits offers valuable guidance in the form of 108 stories recounting the ways in which Hindu, Tibetan Buddhist, and Zen masters, both ancient and modern, have confronted their own deaths. By directly presenting the grace, clarity, and even humor with which great spiritual teachers have met the end of their days, Blackman provides inspiration and nourishment to anyone truly concerned with the fundamental issues of life and death.
Graceful Passages (book & CDs) by Stillwater & Malkin		Graceful Passages blends music and the spoken word in a new way that creates a touching and luminous audio experience. Acclaimed worldwide, this beautiful book and two-CD set has helped thousands of people come to terms with loss and death as part of life. Widely used in home, hospice, and palliative-care settings, it opens a way to talk about life and death, forgiveness, and acceptance. Its wisdom guides patients, family members, and caregivers to open to the process of letting go and being in the now.
Grave Matters - A Journey Through the Modern Funeral Industry To a Natural Way of Burial - by Mark Harris		sans coffin in the final season of Six Feet Under, Americans all across the country were starting to look outside the box when death came calling. Grave Matters follows a dozen such families who found in “green” burial a more natural, more economic and ultimately more meaningful alternative to the tired and toxic send-off on offer at the local funeral parlor. Eschewing chemical embalming and fancy caskets, burial vaults and costly funerals, people have embraced a range of natural options, new and old, that are redefining a better American way of death. The author examines this new green burial underground, leading you into natural cemeteries and domestic graveyards, taking you aboard boats from which ashes and memorial “reef balls” are cast into the sea. He follows a family that conducts a home funeral and delivers a loved one to the crematory, another that hires a carpenter to build a pine coffin. Click here to visit the resource page.
Heartwork – How to Get What You Really Really Want by Dale Goldstein		This is a book plus CD and is a synthesis of western psychological processes and eastern meditative techniques that allows people to work through even their most difficult psychological issues. These simple and direct methods are excellent for those how have found the standard psychological approach to personal growth too limited. The result is a journey of personal transformation that delivers not only a profoundly fresh perspective on life's challenges but also the ability to access spiritual dimensions of awareness.
Help Me Live - 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know - by Lori Hope		We want nothing more than to offer comfort and support, and foster hope. But we don’t always know how—and may feel uncomfortable asking. Following her own treatment for cancer, Lori Hope created a survey for cancer survivors addressing issues they wanted their families, friends, and caregivers to understand. The results of the newly expanded survey are presented with honesty, insight, and humor, and complemented by scores of compelling personal stories from survivors of diverse ages and backgrounds. If you are a caregiver, Help Me Live will help you communicate more effectively and respond more compassionately. And if you are a survivor, it will help you feel validated, empowered, and, ultimately, hopeful.
Knocking on Heaven's Door by Katy Butler		In this visionary memoir, based on a groundbreaking New York Times Magazine story, award-winning journalist Katy Butler ponders her parents’ desires for “Good Deaths” and the forces within medicine that stood in the way. Katy Butler was living thousands of miles from her vigorous and self-reliant parents when the call came: a crippling stroke had left her proud seventy-nine-year-old father unable to fasten a belt or complete a sentence. Tragedy at first drew the family closer: her mother devoted herself to caregiving, and Butler joined the twenty-four million Americans helping shepherd parents through their final declines. Then doctors outfitted her father with a pacemaker, keeping his heart going but doing nothing to prevent his six-year slide into dementia, near-blindness, and misery. When he told his exhausted wife, “I’m living too long,” mother and daughter were forced to confront a series of wrenching moral questions. When does death stop being a curse and become a blessing? Where is the line between saving a life and prolonging a dying? When do you say to a doctor, “Let my loved one go?” When doctors refused to disable the pacemaker, condemning her father to a prolonged and agonizing death, Butler set out to understand why. Her quest had barely begun when her mother took another path. Faced with her own grave illness, she rebelled against her doctors, refused open-heart surgery, and met death head-on. With a reporter’s skill and a daughter’s love, Butler explores what happens when our terror of death collides with the technological imperatives of medicine. Her provocative thesis is that modern medicine, in its pursuit of maximum longevity, often creates more suffering than it prevents. This revolutionary blend of memoir and investigative reporting lays bare the tangled web of technology, medicine, and commerce that dying has become. And it chronicles the rise of Slow Medicine, a new movement trying to reclaim the “Good Deaths” our ancestors prized. Knocking on Heaven’s Door is a map through the labyrinth of a broken medical system. It will inspire the difficult conversations we need to have with loved ones as it illuminates the path to a better way of death.
Learning to Say Goodby by Eda LeShan		Written for the whole family, this book opens the way to genuine communication between youngsters and adults so they can deal with the grief and bewilderment that follows the death of a parent. In simple direct language, the author discusses the questions, fears, fantasies, and stages of mourning that human beings need to go through - and offers a practical strategy, based on life experiences, to provide comfort and hope.
Living Into Dying by Nancy Poer		"Here is a family who celebrated their elders, nursed them at home to die, built their caskets, honored and cared for them after death and then went out into the community to help others who want to do the same." "Every aspect of caring for the dying is in this book, from building a casket to connecting with those who have died."
Living Our Dying - by Joseph Sharp		When he wrote Living Our Dying, Joseph Sharp had been living with the HIV virus for over a decade, living each day with the knowledge that he will, eventually, die. For him, this has become the foundation of an intimate awareness of the beauty and majesty of life, in himself and in all those close to him, whether they've been diagnosed with a fatal illness or not. In this straightforward book, Sharp weaves his personal experiences, quotations from other spiritual and health authors, and suggested meditations into a moving proposal for the "rewriting" of our own lives as a conscious pilgrimage toward the inevitable outcome for ourselves and those we love. Click here to visit the resource page.
Necessary Losses - by Judith Viorst		In this book, Judith Viorst turns her considerable talents to a serious and far-reaching subject: how we grow and change through the losses that are an inevitable and necessary part of life. She argues persuasively that through the loss of our mothers' protection, the loss of the impossible expectations we bring to relationships, the loss of our younger selves, and the loss of our loved ones through separation and death, we gain deeper perspective, true maturity, and fuller wisdom about life. She has written a book that is both life affirming and life changing.
On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross		This is a classic book. "Dr Ross projects her warm understanding, sophistication, and sensitivity into every page...an excellent book on the management of the terminally ill...offers hope for the understanding of uman strengths and weaknesses experienced during a very difficult time".
Passages in Caregiving by Gail Sheehy		Caring for a loved one with a chronic illness -- a parent, partner, sibling or child -- is a role no one aspires to but many of us will take on. In her superb new book, "Passages in Caregiving," Gail Sheehy writes that someone is serving as an unpaid family caregiver in almost one-third of American households. It's a job that lasts an average of five years. "Nobody briefs us on all the services we are expected to perform when we take on this role," she writes. That statement is no longer true, for "Passages in Caregiving" -- written from Sheehy's personal experience supplemented by a generous dose of reporting -- does it well. Her book outlines the road that awaits caregivers and gives practical advice to help them on the journey. It's an ambitious and readable blend of memoir, reportage, consumer advice, pep talk and love story. Click here to visit the resource page.
Ripening Time - Inside Stories for Aging with Grace - by Sherry Ruth Anderson		In Ripening Time: Inside Stories for Aging with Grace, Sherry Ruth Anderson presents a new perspective on aging. In her latest book, the bestselling author of The Feminine Face of God and The Cultural Creatives invites the reader to engage the aging process through the art of inner inquiry. She guides us beyond our culture's mind traps through stories where elders face into the lies, the losses and endings, the tender and bittersweet and ferocious truths of growing old. Giving us an indispensable compass, she shows how growing into old age can be a fruition, the genuine grace and gift of human ripening.
Seasons by Anita Spencer		This book explores the life cycle of every woman from the spring of her life to the winter.
Share The Care by C Capossela & S Warnock		Whether you're prepared for it or not, chances are you'll take on the role of caregiver when a family member or friend is affected by a serious illness or injury, or when you find your elderly parent needs help. As you'll soon discover, the range of tasks and responsibilities involved are overwhelming. This book offers a sensible and loving solution: a unique group approach that can turn a circle of ordinary people into a powerful caregiving team.
The Bright Light of Death by Annabel Chaplin		This book looks at what happens at and just after the time of death.
The Courage to Grieve - by Judy Tatelbaum		This unusual self-help book about surviving grief offers the reader comfort and inspiration. Each of us will face some loss, sorrow and disappointment in our lives, and The Courage to Grieve provides the specific help we need to enable us to face our grief fully and to recover and grow from the experience.
The End of Life Advisor - by S Dolan & A Vizzard		In this simple guide, you’ll find both practical step-by-step advice and compassionate, heartfelt guidance to dramatically improve the last days of life. Written by a mother-daughter team of hospice volunteers with experience in nursing, law, and psychology, The End-of-Life Advisor will show you the remarkable benefits of hospice care. If you’re a healthcare or legal professional, you’ll discover the important ways you can advise your patients and clients. If you’re caring for a loved one, you’ll learn how you can help make their last days much more comfortable. If you’re planning for yourself, you’ll understand the decisions you need to make now – so you can find greater peace down the road.
The Final Crossing by Scott Eberle		Joan Halifax: "This is an extraordinarily wise and compassionate book written by a physician of the body and the heart. In this beautifully written account of the death of his beloved teacher and friend, we can discover the great mystery of meeting death as a teacher and friend..."
The Grace in Dying : How We Are Transformed Spiritually as We Die - by Kathleen Singh		Right from the start the author proclaims: "Dying is safe. You are safe. Your loved one is safe. That is the message of all the words here." True to her promise, she walks us through the final stages of death with complete honesty, yet she manages to quell the ultimate fear of dying. Speaking of the "Nearing Death Experience," Singh has discovered a sequence of phases or qualities that signals when a dying person is entering the final stages of spiritual and psychological transformation. She names them as relaxation, withdrawal, radiance, interiority (a time of going inward), silence, sacred, transcendence, knowing, intensity, and perfection--all of which she explains in great detail. This is an astonishingly intelligent and engrossing book about consciously surrendering our bodies and our egos to death. There are 500,000 hospice patients in the U.S. and 5 million hospice workers worldwide. And every one of them would probably find profound comfort in this breakthrough book on dying. --excerpted from a review by Gail Hudson
The Grief Process - Meditations for Healing by Stephen and Ondrea Levine		This is a combination study guide and 2 cassette tapes. It is an in-depth workshop with the authors that explores how anyone can resolve grief through meditation. Working with a group of people caught in the wake of physical and emotional loss, the Levines explain how grief can lead to an "armoring of the heart," and demonstrate a series of deeply felt exercises they have developed and refined over many years of work with meditation groups, hospice residents, and others.
The Needs of the Dying: A Guide for Bringing Hope, Comfort, and Love to Life's Final Chapter- by David Kessler		In gentle, compassionate language, this book helps us through the last chapter of our lives. The author has identified key areas of concern: the need to be treated as a living human being, the need for hope, the need to express emotions, the need to participate in care, the need for honesty, the need for spirituality, and the need to be free of physical pain. Examining the physical and emotional experiences of life-challenging illnesses, Kessler provides a vocabulary for family members and for the dying that allows them to communicate with doctors, with hospital staff, and with one another, and—at a time when the right words are exceedingly difficult to find—he helps readers find a way to say good-bye. Using comforting and touching stories, he provides information to help us meet the needs of a loved one at this important time in our lives.
The Tibetan Book of Living & Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche		"A masterful distillation for the West on the priceless wisdom of Tibetan Buddhism that gives us practical instruction and spiritual guiance on how to live in light of the greatest teacher of all - death."
The True Work of Dying by J Bernard & M Schneider		This groundbreaking, holistic guide presents rare insights and reassuring practical advice on how to navigate the final weeks before death - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Drawing on the rich and poignant experiences of their hospice patients, the authors show us that when the dying and their caregivers commit themselves to the true emotional and spiritual work of dying, healing is virtually inevitable, though it often comes in unexpected forms.
The Unexpected Caregiver by Kari Berit		As their parents grow older, growing numbers of Baby Boomers find themselves thrust into a caregiver role, often with little warning or preparation. In a sense, they must function somewhat like activity directors in senior-care facilities, helping mom and dad come to terms with both day-to-day concerns and longer-term issues. Kari Berit brings extensive professional and personal insights to this subject. This book is a "splendid treasure chest of practical ideas that will help ease the stress of caring across generations".
The Year of Magical Thinking - by Joan Didion		The book recounts Didion's experiences of grief after her husband's death of a cardiac arrest in their New York apartment. Days before his death, their daughter was hospitalized in New York with pneumonia which developed into septic shock; she was still unconscious when her father died. The narrative structure of the book follows Didion's re-living and re-analysis of her husband's death throughout the year following it, in addition to caring for her daughter. With each replay of the event, the focus on certain emotional and physical aspects of the experience shifts. Didion also incorporates medical and psychological research on grief and illness into the book.
Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom		Amy Tan: "Mitch Albom was given a wonderful gift from his teacher Morrie Schwartz and now we have the great pleasure of auditing the same class. This is a true story that shines and leaves you forever warmed by its afterglow." There is a movie that is based on this book.
When Parents Die: A Guide for Adults - by Edward Myers		The topics range from the psychological responses to a parent's death such as shock, depression, and guilt, to the practical consequences such as dealing with estates and funerals.
When Someone Dies - The Practical Guide to the Logistics of Death by Scott Taylor Smith with Michael Castleman		Scott Taylor Smith, a venture capitalist and lawyer, had plentiful resources, and yet after his mother died, he made a series of agonizing and costly mistakes in squaring away her affairs. He could find countless books that dealt with caring for the dying and the emotional fallout of death, but very few that dealt with the logistics. In the aftermath of his mother’s death, Smith decided to write the book he wished he’d had. When Someone Dies provides readers with a crucial framework for making good, informed, money-saving decisions in the chaotic thirty days after a loved one dies and beyond. It provides essential, concrete guidance on: • Making funeral and memorial service arrangements • Writing an obituary • Estate planning • Contacting family and friends • Handling your loved one’s online footprint • Navigating probate • Dealing with finances, including trusts and taxation • And much, much more Featuring concise checklists in each chapter, this guide offers answers to practical questions, enabling loved ones to save time and money and focus on healing. Click here to visit the resource page.
Who Dies? by Stephen Levine		While many books have dealt with he "stages of dying", and particularly the stages of acceptance of death, this is the first to demonstrate how to "open to the immensity of living with death". This book shows us how to participate fully in life as the perfect preparation for whatever may come next, be it sorrow, or joy, loss or gain, death or a new wonderment at life.

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US Resources

Title	Type	Description	Tags
Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love - by Lisa Carlson		A complete guide for those making funeral arrangements with or without a funeral director. Families, friends, and support groups who want to say goodbye in a meaningful waynot just write a big check to a funeral directorwill find detailed and practical legal information in this unique guide. By taking an active role in funeral and memorial arrangements, families can save thousands of dollars while better serving the emotional needs of loved ones. Caring for The Dead gives the legal requirements of each state, how to obtain and file permits and death certificates, explanations of cremation and embalming, burial procedures, and other necessary information. Readers learn how to shop for the best services at the most reasonable prices, while avoiding fraudulent and deceptive mortuary practices. This landmark book helps readers take control of one of life's most intimate experiencesthe final act of love for a friend or relative.

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Ridhwan Life Service Group

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Global Resources

US Resources